DIFFICULT PEOPLE RUINING YOUR DAY?
Here's what you can do about it.
- By Yvonne F. Brown
The world is filled with difficult people. They exhibit negative behavior when they feel there's a potential for loss of love, power, money, respect, time or control. Most difficult people don't want to be this way and often their emotionally charged behavior may not be caused by you. It could be that you pushed their button without realizing it, or pulled the trigger on this behavior by something you did or said.
Truth is, if there are no difficult people in your life, you might be the difficult one. Here's what you can do about it.
Use the 3-Pronged Approach.
Be Assertive: The difficult person typically comes from a place of loss. While this may seem contrary to the behavior, people become difficult when they fear a loss. So pause for a minute, and determine which one it is. Then respond by saying what you mean, and meaning what you say, without being mean when you say it. That's the assertive voice. "I heard that as an insult, is that the way you meant it?"
Call them on it: By clarifying their objective during the negative exchange, you determine if what you heard is what they really meant. An aggressive responsive tone would escalate the issue and put the difficult person in a defensive mode, thus ending civil communication. A passive-aggressive tone makes you the difficult person as you try to 'get them back' later. The passive tone causes you to build up resentment and stress which can result in your blowing up and becoming a difficult person.
Reclaim your personal power: When you stand up for yourself it increases your self-esteem, and you send a message to the difficult person that you will not tolerate their behavior. The assertive technique helps you to communicate confidently, clearly, and powerfully.
Remember, you control the exchange by making choices. Master your communications by managing your emotions and assertively standing up for yourself with difficult people. You may not be able to change them, but you can control your response to them, instead of being controlled by them.
If you would like to attend a informational tele-seminar to help you communicate successfully with a difficult person, register at yvonnefbrown.com/contact
The Trench Effect™ - Dont let toxic people drain you - End The Pain NOW!
 Are you still harboring old hurts and pain from the past? Does it still pain you to think about someone or an event that happened long ago? Many of us work hard to achieve corporate and life success then when we achieve it we feel like an imposter and wonder when they will find out who we really are. Sometimes we find ourselves living in the past and afraid that we can never really have what we truly want in life. There is a secret to leaving this hurt and pain behind then moving confidently in the direction of your dream.
This interactive session will help you cure those ills and prepare you to be a winner every time.
You will learn:
- What is the Trench Effect™ and how does it impact your interactions with colleagues, family and others
- How to recognize the trigger pulling effects
- Knowing your own button pushing and trigger pulling responses
- How to deal with corporate bullies and take back control of your life and your work
Who should attend:
Anyone interested in developing skills to improve communications and their performance in order to grow within their organization
The Price is $35.00
The DATE: November 4th Time: 8:30 am - 4:00 pm
Click Here to Register
The location:Chicago IL - TBA
On site training - Call for special pricing
 Leave the seminar with tools to increase your ability to stand up for yourself in a professional and personable manner.
Register by email to yvonne@yvonnefbrown.com
Here's what people say about our seminars
In our recent seminar you mentioned that you made a new years resolution to listen more. How did you spend a whole year just listening?
Answer:
 As I mentioned in the seminar, listening skills are crucial to good communications but it's easier said than done. Listening takes concentration and a commitment to quieting the internal noise in our minds while focusing on the person we are communicating with.
The technique I used was to simply tell people that I am committed to listening as a new year's resolution and improve the skill. Then rather than doing most of the talking I asked questions and let the other person speak instead. It helped me to break the habit of interrupting others, and I gave permission to others to point out when I was speaking more than listening. They were happy to do so and my listening skills did increase.
If you would like to increase your listening skills there is a wonderful product that helped me called "Learning to Listen." You can get a copy here!
Let me know how it all works out for you and feel free to contact me with any questions.
Send your questions for "Ask Yvonne" to yvonne@yvonnefbrown.com and I will answer in our next newsletter
Any Video Converter - Free!
 This month we have a tool you can use to download You Tube videos to your computer to utilize when you are not online. I use downloaded videos in my PowerPoint presentations to enhance the attendee experience. You can save the video is almost any format including for cell phones. You can also convert your own videos using this software. The tool is downloadable for free at AVC-Free
|
